The Complete Guide To Airplane Etiquette, From Seat-Swapping To Footwear

Travelling can be a source of anxiety for so many people and those feelings tend to get heightened when aboard an airplane. There's something about being trapped in a metal tube hurtling through the sky that can really bring out the worst in people.

When it comes to air travel, there are a lot of unwritten rules of etiquette that can be tricky to navigate. Should you be tipping your flight attendants? Is asking to swap seats with another passenger ok?

To help settle some of these issues, Narcity chatted to some experts to weigh in on some of those frequent airplane etiquette questions. If you're boarding anytime soon, you're going to want to take note.

You don't need to tip your flight attendants

TikTok has exploded with flight hacks and ways to get better service and one idea that's become pretty popular is tipping flight attendants or giving them gifts with the hopes of securing upgrades or better service.

However, according to Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and the owner of The Protocol School of Texas, it really isn't necessary and some airlines might not even allow flight attendants to accept tips or gifts as a policy.

"They're not waitresses or hostesses. They are professionals doing a job and their job is to keep things orderly and safe," she said.

"If you really want to do something wonderful for the flight attendant, you can write a review. You can find their name, write to the airline and let them know that you received exceptional service," she added.

Shawn Kathleen, an ex-flight attendant who runs the huge Instagram account @passengershaming, added that some airlines may have a policy where flight attendants have to decline a gift or tip once but accept it if the passenger insists.

While no flight attendant ever expects to be tipped, it's a really nice gesture to do so, but don't do it solely with the intention of getting something in return, she added.

"More than likely, you're gonna get treated really well," she said.

If you are keen to give your flight attendant a thank you, Shawn Kathleen recommends something like a $5 Starbucks gift card. "That's like gold," she said.

You can use the bell to get a flight attendant's attention but don't overdo it

We've all experienced the uncomfortable situation of being stuck in a middle or window seat and really craving another drink or a snack. But is the bell above your seat for reasons like this?

According to Shawn Kathleen, it's completely fine to use the bell to get a flight attendant's attention, but don't abuse it.

"I would get people that would go 'ding' and I walk over they're like 'can you take this trash?' and it's like a piece of gum wrapper," she said.

"The bottom line is a flight attendant wants you to be happy and enjoy your experience. I can tell you as somebody who had who did it for eight years, the last place you want to be is on an airplane with 200 people that are p***ed off because you're not helping them," she added.

However, Gottsman said she thinks passengers should really avoid using the bell unless it's for a more serious issue or if you can't get up out of your seat because the seatbelt sign is on.

"It's not because you want to know what time you land. It's not because you want another soda. It's not because you want to know what the weather is going to be like when you get to your destination. Reserve that for more serious matters," she said.

Heading to the galley is also ok

If you want to avoid pressing the bell altogether and flight attendants aren't already coming around, Shawn Kathleen said travellers are ok to go to the galley to ask for an extra drink or snack, but avoid getting in their personal space.

"That's their office. They might be pulling out carts, which weigh about 250 pounds each," she added.

Gottsman recommends waiting for flight attendants to walk through the plane before asking for an extra snack or a drink instead, especially if there's turbulence.

"We have to weigh our comfort level and what we want," she said.

You can absolutely ask to swap seats with another passenger, but don't make it awkward

Seat-swapping on airplanes is certainly a hot topic with so many in-flight horror stories starting with a request to swap seats, but is it actually ok to ask?

According to Gottsman, you can absolutely ask another passenger to swap seats with you, but you need to be prepared for a "no" before you even ask the question.

"We should not be offended when we hear the word 'no.' ... You're gonna say 'I totally understand' versus getting mad," she said.

You definitely shouldn't sit in the seat you want to change to when you board and wait for the person to approach you to ask, she added.

"Stay out of the way of people as best as possible. Wait until they arrive and then say 'Would you mind swapping seats with me?' ... If it's the same seat a couple of aisles away, they may do it. If you want their aisle seat and you've got a middle seat, that really isn't appropriate to ask," she explained.

Shawn Kathleen agreed, adding that a lot of people pay extra or pick a specific seat for a reason.

"Somebody might want to sit on an aisle because that's their preference and they have to get up to go use the restroom or get up and walk. Somebody might be on the window because that's their thing or feel weird sitting in the back of the plane because they get sick. There's a plethora of reasons," she said.

Instead of waiting until you're on board, she recommends speaking to the gate agent first to see if they're able to move you to another available seat first. If that isn't possible, you're able to ask another passenger but again, don't get upset if the answer is no.

"It puts that person in a really crappy position. We're going to be sitting here on the airplane for the next four hours together. You're going to be looking over at me and being p***ed off because I wouldn't get up and move. It's unfair to put somebody in that position," she said.

Also don't ask the flight attendant as it isn't their job to change seating arrangements, she added.

Reclining your seat is fine – but be considerate about it

Reclining, especially if you're flying in an economy cabin where leg room can be tight, to say the least, is another hot issue for travellers. But according to Shawn Kathleen, if your seat reclines, it's fair game but you need to be kind and respectful about it.

"If you decide if you want to do that, no worries, do you boo. But being a nice human, look behind you. Make sure it's not someone extremely tall or large, or somebody who has a tray table down and they're eating or they have a drink," she explained.

She added you don't need to ask permission from the person behind to recline your seat, but being considerate of their situation is important.

"Again if someone reclines in front of you, don't call the flight attendant over to complain. It isn't their job to play Kindergarten Cop," she added.

Gottsman agreed that if you really want to recline your seat, you should double-check to make sure you're not going to cause them a huge inconvenience. You can even politely ask them if they mind if you want to.

"It's better to look back and see what damage you are about to cause," she said.

Bare feet are NEVER acceptable on an airplane

When you're heading out on a long-haul flight, comfort is always going to be a priority. However, if there's one thing you should absolutely take away here, it's please, please, please keep your shoes and socks on.

According to Gottsman, you need to think about this when you're dressing for the plane as wearing tight boots or heels could be uncomfortable so pick some runners or tennis shoes that you can loosen on the flight.

"Don't take your shoes off and don't walk through [the plane]. It's bad manners. It's not considerate for other passengers. You don't walk from your seat to the restroom barefoot. You're not in your living room. You are in a public space," she said.

"We don't want to see other people's dirty socks or toes or have any odours," she added.

Shawn Kathleen added that while bare feet are a no-go, socks are fine, but only if they're clean so maybe consider packing an extra pair for the flight. However, even if you're wearing clean socks, keep your feet on the ground and never, ever go to the bathroom in just your socks.

"The liquid on the floor is not water," she said. Gross!

"You can't go to a restaurant with bare feet, right? It's the same. They're serving food. You're getting meals and beverages served to you in an enclosed space. Not only that, you're like with recirculated air and smells," she added.

You can shut down a conversation with your seat mate

Picture the scene. You've boarded your flight, got comfy in your seat and then realized you have a seat mate that's very eager to chat. While you may feel awkward about ending the conversation without being rude, there are some helpful ways you can do it.

Gottsman's recommendation is to invest in some good earbuds or headphones before you fly and you can put them on early to avoid too much conversation.

"You can be pleasant and say good morning or good afternoon and then you put on your earbuds and then you're out," she said.

"If they keep trying to talk to you, just say 'if you would excuse me, I'm going to take this opportunity to watch this movie I've been wanting to watch' or 'I'm going to take this opportunity to get some work done,'" she said.

Another option, according to Shawn Kathleen, is to bring an eye mask, even if you don't usually use one.

"I'm just like 'I appreciate it. I have three kids and this is my time to just zone out, I'm sure you understand,'" she said.

If you need to wake someone in an aisle seat, it's going to be tricky regardless

Another nightmare airplane scenario is needing to potentially wake another person in an aisle seat so you can use the washroom, and sadly, there's no perfect solution to this.

If you're someone that knows you might need to use the bathroom a lot, you might want to pick an aisle seat from the get go to avoid too many awkward encounters, Shawn Kathleen said.

"If they're asleep, I might try to do some acrobatics move because I don't want to bother them... There's no way I'm going to wake somebody up and ask them if I can go unless it was an emergency," she said.

If you really can't wait, try to get their attention without touching them if possible, she added.

However, attempting to hop over a sleeping passenger doesn't come without potential risks, Gottsman added.

"You don't want to try and hop over them because you might fall. You're just gonna say 'Would you please excuse me?' It's all about the delivery. It's all about the tone of voice," she added.

Ultimately on an airplane, most of the hot topics come down to whether something is generally good manners or not, so if you ask politely and accept people's boundaries, you'll be just fine. Just maybe keep your shoes on for the duration of the flight!

This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.