Loneliness Is An 'Epidemic' & Here's How To Make Meaningful Friendships As An Adult In Canada
Face-to-face conversations are important for your mental health.
A man sitting alone at a cafe.
Picking up the phone and having a conversation with a friend or inviting them over for dinner is more important to your health than you may think.
That's because seeing people in person and fostering real relationships is crucial to our well-being and can prevent us from getting lonely.
While being lonely may not sound like a serious issue, experts are expressing just how big of a deal it is.
In May, the U.S. surgeon general, Dr. Vivek Murthy, declared loneliness a public health epidemic in the U.S. and compared the risks of widespread loneliness to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, according to CTV News.
\u201cWithout meaningful relationships, we are not living our healthiest and most productive lives. DYK that lacking social connection can be associated with increased risk of disease, including heart disease and stroke? 1/2\u201d— Dr. Vivek Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General (@Dr. Vivek Murthy, U.S. Surgeon General) 1683051853
It's not just a problem in the U.S., but it's one in Canada as well.
According to Canada's Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), a survey done in 2022 found that adult Canadians reported levels of "moderate to severe anxiety, loneliness and feelings of depression as high as early in the pandemic."
While making friends seems easy for kids and teens, you may find difficulty in putting yourself out there to make new friends as an adult.
However, there are ways to build new relationships, no matter your age and a clinical social worker who spoke with Narcity shared tips on how to do it.
"There's a lot of different opportunities to connect or to find a group that resonates with you," Jourdan Travers, a licensed clinical social worker based in New Jersey says.
Here's everything you need to know on the loneliness epidemic and ways to get help (including how to make friends) if you need it.
Loneliness can be as bad to your health as smoking cigarettes
Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. surgeon general declared the public health epidemic linked to loneliness and isolation on May 2, 2023.
According to PBS, Murphy acknowledged that about half of adults living in the U.S. say they have experienced loneliness.
“We now know that loneliness is a common feeling that many people experience. It’s like hunger or thirst. It’s a feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing,” Murthy told The Associated Press in an interview, as reported by PBS.
“Millions of people in America are struggling in the shadows, and that’s not right. That’s why I issued this advisory to pull back the curtain on a struggle that too many people are experiencing.”
What's causing the loneliness epidemic?
As one would expect, the COVID-19 pandemic played a role in making more people feel lonely, but Travers tells Narcity there's more to it than that.
The clinical social worker says social media also plays a big role in people's mental health and contributes to feelings of isolation.
She says for Gen Z, screen time and social media "pervades every aspect of their levels of connection" and makes people feel like they're connecting with others.
"The more time we spend in front of a screen, the higher rates of depression, disconnection, anxiety, and we're seeing more and more of that. People are just in front of a screen all the time, whether it's on social media engaging, or just in front of emails, whatever it may be," she explained.
"It's not a substitute for real genuine conversation and real genuine connection and communication."
How do you know if loneliness is impacting your mental health?
When it comes to noticing if isolation and loneliness is impacting your mental health, Travers recommends asking yourself a simple question: when was the last time you spoke with someone you love or a member of your community face-to-face?
If you can't remember, Travers says that's a good indicator that a bigger issue may be at play.
"If the answer isn't daily, there's going be some effects. Even if you're introverted, we are a social species," she added.
"We want to see other people and so if we're not interacting with or seeing other people, at least on a daily basis, that's a pretty good indicator that there's something else potentially going on."
Where can you make friends as an adult?
Many people may agree it's easier to make friends when you're in school because you're forced to interact with certain people and you can also sign up for after-school activities.
While our responsibilities and priorities change when we become adults, Travers says it's still possible to form meaningful friendships.
So how do you do it?
Step one: you have to put yourself out there.
An easy way to do that is to sign up for a volunteer group based on your interests, whether it be faith-based, working with kids or animals or joining a sports group or book club.
Another great resource to find volunteer opportunities is to do some research online.
Here are some hubs or specific programs that list volunteer opportunities across the provinces:
- Volunteer BC
- Volunteer Alberta
- Volunteer Manitoba
- Saskatchewan Nonprofit Partnership
- Ontario Volunteer Centre Network
- Habitat for Humanity Quebec
- Alzheimer Society of New Brunswick
- PEI Humane Society
- Volunteer NS
- Ronald McDonald House Charities Newfoundland & Labrador
There's also Bumble BFF in Canada, which many people have tested out and agreed was a great way to meet people.
Friendships also require effort and Travers urges people not to disregard others because their interests or beliefs may not align with yours.
"As soon as we're willing and able to recognize the humanness of other people, that's a pretty good first step," she explained.
"Just kind of expecting 'Oh, I'm just gonna have these friendships and I can put the bare minimum in or I don't really have to connect,' that's not realistic, that's not reality."
How do you find a therapist if you need one?
If you realize you need help when it comes to your mental health, you could also consider speaking to a therapist who can help you set out a plan for overcoming loneliness.
In a previous interview, Dr. Houyuan Luo, a registered clinical psychologist in Toronto, outlined the various steps it takes to find a therapist near you.
Luo suggested the first step to finding a professional is doing some research.
The Toronto psychologist advised checking out websites like Psychology Today, where you can filter mental health professionals by their location, what topics you're looking to cover and the costs you'll be expected to pay.
The process is similar for finding therapists in Western Canada and can be done online through the British Columbia Psychological Association.
You can also make an appointment with your family doctor and ask them for a referral.
This article's cover image was used for illustrative purposes only.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.